"Acceptance is not the same as Liking or being happy about or even condoning.  It is simply seeing something the way it is and saying, "That's the way it is."  It's seeing what's going on and saying, "That's what's going on." It's looking at something that's happening and saying, "That's what's happening."
Acceptance is realizing that to do other than accept is (A) painful and (B) futile.  Through non-acceptance we try to control the worldl.  We want our "shoulds", "musts," and demands to somehow rule the world.  It doesn't work.  It simply does not work."
You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought, John-Roger & Peter McWilliams

Non-Acceptance leads to anger, frustration and chaos.  Ultimately, acheivements are given over to results that we really didn't want.  So how do you accept what is when you don't like it?  How do you learn to breathe, accept what is and still create the results you seek to create?  Start with the one person that you have control over, yourself.  Inventory, honestly whether you react to events that are perceived to be "out of control" .  To accept ourself comes first, in all levels of doing. 

"Give yourself and Acceptance Break throughout the day.  Accept everything around you, everything inside you, everything everthing.  Accept your thoughts,  Accept your thoughts about your thoughts and about your thoughts.  Accept whatever feeling you have, whatever sensations are in your body.  Don't try to change any of it--trying to change is a form of nonacceptance.," You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought, John-Roger & Peter McWilliams
"When you learn patience with yourself, it's easy to extend it to tohers.  When you learn patience with others, be sure to extend it to yourself.  Enjoy the Moment.  How does one enjoy the mnoment?  By being patient.  An endless loop?  Sure.  And you can jump in at any point.  Come on in--the ocean's fine" You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought, John-Roger & Peter McWilliams

Use each day for an opportunity to learn, accept, be patient with yourself.  Your realtionship with yourself, and those around you will begin to change.

James Lehman, Gut Check, Shame and Anger of Parenting
"I’ve worked with hundreds and hundreds of families in thirty years as a behavioral therapist. Many of whom had tried everything with their child—from getting advice from family to getting help through therapy—and nothing had been effective in turning around the problems. After years of being emotionally blackmailed by their kids, feeling held hostage by the problem, and feeling that the system has let them down, parents can feel powerless, and when they feel powerless, they lose hope. Hopelessness is the most dangerous emotion of all for parents because it breeds skepticism and slams the door on change.

If this is your situation, the message I have for you is that you have to keep trying, because your child is your greatest love and creation. If he’s not doing well, you need to try something different. If you’re going to somebody’s office and not getting help, go to another resource, or, better yet, bring the training into your home where the behavior problems are happening. Doing this could be the one different thing that opens the door to change in your child.

 


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