Greetings,
I hope this message finds you doing well. Do you have a dream or
secret ambition that you find yourself unable to manifest? Does
there always seem to be some "good reason" why you can't realize
that dream?


Perhaps you, like many of us, find yourself thinking and saying
things like:
"They won't let me be myself."
"My (partner/parents/loved ones) hold me back."
"I would do better if they would get out of my way."

Do you recognize the taint of victim mentality in these statements?


Such statements do indeed come straight out of a victim belief
system. Why? Because in saying such things, we are announcing that
we believe that somebody else determines the quality of our life
expression. To see someone as standing in the way of our progress
is to see ourselves at their mercy; in other words, we see
ourselves as their victim.


I can hear some of you protesting, "Lynne, what if it is true? What
if someone really IS holding us back!"


Let me be clear. I am not saying that people don't do what they do.
Perhaps they are even intentionally acting in negative, controlling
ways towards us. I am not arguing that.


However, the simple truth is that we attract/invite (often through
our own behavior/reaction) others to interact with us in a way that
reflects our own beliefs!


In other words, if we did not have (somewhere within) a similar
belief about ourselves as what we are seeing reflected through
their behavior towards us, we would not be having that particular
relationship with them. We attract those who reflect our own
beliefs because of a universal law that says: What we experience in
life will always be a projection of our own thoughts and beliefs.


What that means is, if we believe we are victims we will see others
as victimizing us.

Here's the way it works:
We unconsciously project our belief about ourselves or the world
onto the people and situations around us and then we act as if what
we believe is true. (In other words, when we believe something, we
naturally, without fail, behave in ways that will prove what we
believe.)

For instance, thoughts like,

They won't let me be myself.
My (partner/parents/loved ones) hold me back.
I would do better if they would get out of my way.

 are a reflection of beliefs about ourselves, such as,

Who I am is unacceptable.
Others don't like the way I am.
I don't like the way I am.
I cannot have what I want.

When we believe such thoughts we act accordingly,


For instance, when we,

inhibit our expression
hide behind others
refuse to take risks
hold ourselves back from opportunity
sull up and withdraw
withhold, rather than dare to excel

   we automatically invite a response from others that verify those
beliefs.


If you are not allowing yourself to follow your own dreams or
goals, ask yourself what you are truly believing about yourself
that keeps you from pursuing it. Stop holding others responsible
for your lack of progress and question the beliefs that are
limiting you instead!


Blessings, Lynne
Lynne Forrest is 
The Three Faces of VictimAn Overview of the Drama Triangle

Conscious Effective Parenting presents authors and professionals whose work make life worth living!  Kudo to Lynne for her wise words and constant effort to provide information for victims to see their choice in their situation.
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TEXTING: THE NEW WAY FOR KIDS TO BE RUDE
by James Lehman, MSW



“My 14 year old daughter is a texting addict! She will even sit and text when our family is at a restaurant. It drives me nuts. If I tell her to stop, she just does it under the table. It’s like this little secret that we can’t be in on, plus it’s just plain rude. It’s as if half of her is here with us, but her brain is somewhere off with her friends. The thing that really annoys me is that she doesn’t take part in family activities any more—it’s like she has to have a special invitation to participate. What should we do?”



Many kids will react negatively when you start to set limits on their texting or cell phone activities, but if you stick with the plan, they will eventually respond and comply with your family’s rules.

Teens and pre-teens have the mindset that their friends are the only ones who understand them. Many kids feel much more whole as a person when they’re with their peers. So basically, like the parent describes above, they will probably text as much as they can. Think of it from their perspective: it’s fun, it’s immediate gratification—which kids love—so it’s also self-reinforcing. That means that when they text, our kids get a reward right away in the form of a response from their friends, and so it encourages them to do it again right away, and get another reward.

So how do you curtail your child's texting habit and make sure they’re participating in your family’s activities? And how do you keep them from using texting as another way to be rude?
Full article here
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